Saturday, April 7, 2007

Irrational Hatred

We all have a seemingly unfounded hatred of one or more 'famous' people out there. I hate Fergie. You know who I mean. The chick who "sings" for the Black Eyed Peas - yes, that's the one. I don't know exactly why I despise her very existence, I just do. Her gyrating. Her wacky sense of style - or complete lack thereof. Her eyebrows, and that stupid piercing. The fact that Josh Duhamel seems to be enamoured by her blows my mind completely. Perhaps I can't stand her because she is famous. It's not as though she hasn't worked hard to get where she is. I mean, Kids Incorporated hasn't been on the air in, like, 20 years. And a meth addiction must be a bitch to get over. She must have clawed and fought her way to the top, and I guess I can respect that. But what does she do once she does get her big break? She makes horrible, grating, insulting-to-my-ears music. This is a 30-something year-old woman, not a teenager. Why, then, are her lyrics more juvenile than anything Britney Spears ever 'sang'? "My Humps"? Really? You have got to be kidding me. When the DJ dared to play that song in the middle of my wedding reception, I grabbed my gigantic dress and left the dancefloor - seriously, I walked out of my own wedding reception in protest, simply because the DJ felt it necessary to trash up what had been, up until that moment, quite a classy affair (if I do say so myself...which I do). What's even more insulting is that she doesn't have any 'humps' to speak of. This is a white chick we're talking about here. Her last name is Ferguson for crying out loud.

So, even after all that, I still can't put my finger on one single reason why Fergie grinds my last nerve. I can sit here all day, sifting through the thousands of little things about her that irk me to no end. Who's got the time, though? Isn't it more fun to just concentrate your rage on someone far, far away, with no real reason? Someone you'll never, ever meet? Yes, I dare say it is. So I will continue to foster my irrational hatred of Fergie, if only because it helps preserve my non-hatred of the people I meet in real life. Feel free to choose a celebrity of your own to loathe. Popular choices include Kirsten Dunst, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Sienna Miller. Go on, try it.

Feeling better already, huh?


Kara said...

I choose to hate Sienna Miller. I think it's because of the leggings, although I'm secretly jealous that she's wearing an outfit I found both comfy and stylish in the 4th grade. If she starts wearing mis-matched layers of scrunch socks I might have to join her fan club... Under an alias, of course.

Kolby said...

Do her leggings have lace at the bottom? If so, you might want to rethink your hatred of her, since those are seriously bitchin'.

Dr.K said...

I have an irrational hatred of Vince Vaughn. Well, maybe it is rational. WHY oh why do women find him attractive? He looks like he hasn't slept since he made "Return to Paradise" in '98.

Porter said...

Fergie admittedly wetting herself on stage is what did it for me. Umm, you're a celebrity honey, I'm sure they'll give you a potty break if you just ask.