Thursday, April 5, 2007

Apparently, I have a masculine 'voice'...

Hmmmm...this is puzzling, because I have been described as many things, but never as 'masculine'. I have been informed, though, that my computer "voice", or blogging style, is "decidedly masculine". The person who informed me of this misspelled 'masculine', but I won't dwell on that..not today anyway :). Anyhoodles, I suppose now's the time to make an ultra-feminine post, something that will prove to the world that I am, as Mike Myers so eloquently stated in So I Married An Axe Murderer, a WOOOOOOOOOOOOman!

I cry at the drop of a hat. Seriously, I cry at almost anything that could be described as even remotely sentimental. I cry at old men playing chess and little babies laughing. I cry when I see a zebra being mauled by a pair of lionesses. I cry, on cue, ANY time the music swells during a movie or television show, especially that goddamn Steel Magnolias. Movie TRAILERS make me cry, for Pete's sake! I cry when I think of high school, when I hear that stupid Bonnie Raitt song (you know the one), and every time 'One Shining Moment' is played at the end of the NCAA Basketball Tournament. A cool breeze, dolphins, and the smell of the ocean can make me tear up. I cry each and every time I laugh, no matter how hard I happen to be laughing, or how un-funny the moment actually turns out to be. I get choked up whenever a montage of ANYTHING is playing before me on my television -shoot, I can feel my eyes well up as soon as Jimmy Roberts appears to introduce a montage on NBC Sports. The Olympics make me bawl, so do jet flyovers at sporting events and orphaned puppies. I cry for legitimate reasons, too, like when a loved one dies or tragedy strikes - but everyone feels like letting go of a few tears then, so that wouldn't really add to my girlyness factor.

Excuse me...I just pictured my husband sleeping, and now I need a tissue....

Ok, back. Here are a few other things about me that would HAVE to make you think I've got ladyparts down there:

-I have a list, and only men are on it. #1 is Wentworth Miller (see above....and kindly step off). My husband says he would step aside without protest if Wenty should show up at my doorstep. I'm still waiting, but I have faith.

-I like to drink girly drinks, like Kir Royales, Cosmos, and Amstel Lights.

-I am obsessed with lip products, and currently have two lip balms, a lip gloss and a lipstick jostling around in my PURSE.

-I hate my hair.

-I wear shoes that are uncomfortable.

-I crave chocolate and pray for someone to just give me one good reason every 28 days.

-I am writing a freakin' novel about my feminine qualities because another chick mentioned, in passing, that I might have an inkling of masculinity about my blogging style. If that doesn't prove that I'm a girl, nothing else could.

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