Oh allergies, how you plague me...

Albany, NY is only number 88 on the AAFA’s Spring 2007 “100 most challenging places to live with allergies” list, but it’s still pretty bad here. I guess the fact that I don’t normally have allergies and I’m still suffering says something. I’ve tried various medications to correct it, but nothing seems to be working.

Tylenol: No help whatsoever.

Sudafed: I’m sorry, did I just drop acid?

Benadryl: May as well be a tranquilizer dart, it makes me fall asleep so fast.

Claritin: Ambien incarnate, even the non-drowsy formula.

Zyrtec: Again with the sleepies.

Alavert: Um, this is exactly the same medicine as Claritin, WHY did you prescribe it to me when I told you I wouldn’t take Claritin because it makes me pass out? Honestly… What a waste of a $20 copay.

Allegra: “Upset stomach, menstrual cramps, back pain, cough, fever, stuffy nose, earache or dizziness may occur.” Um… No thanks…

Clarinex: “Throat discomfort, muscle pain, nausea, indigestion, loss of appetite, diarrhea, dizziness, fatigue, trouble sleeping, nosebleeds, or dry mouth may occur.” I think I prefer the sneezing…

So basically, I’m going to continue sneezing, itching and throbbing until Spring is over, because even though allergy meds are a multi-billion dollar industry, they can’t make something simple to make me stop sneezing without passing out or alternately having PMS. As most women would, I’m sure: I’ll take the sneezing over the ovary hockey any day.