Friday, June 29, 2007

Office-wide e-mail, Subject: Stapler Thief

Secretary to entire office: Someone is borrowing staplers and not returning them. If you have more than one stapler please put any extras in the supply cabinet. If you need a stapler, please ask and we'll order one for you.

Russian coworker via reply-all:
I've got two missing from my desk for the past three weeks. If you taking ANYTHING from my desk let me know about it AND return it. Thanks.

coworker who shares office with Russian coworker via reply-all: …and both my staplers are missing today. Thanks.

Lisa to Me:
This is so Office Space, I can't even stand it.

Me to Lisa:
Should I reply all and ask why he has two?

Lisa to Me: I don't get why they're even replying at all. I think Indian and Russian CW are just passive aggressively stealing each others staplers. Scandalous.

Me to Lisa:
You know it's the cleaning lady. She's plotting a cleaning lady's rebellion by way of stealing staplers AND messing with people by replacing their rubbish bins to different places around their office each day. That MINX!

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