And the award for Worst Blogger, like, EVER, goes to...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. You don't have to say it. I'm a shitty blogger. I can't believe it's been since late April since I've even looked at this place, and I've had so much going on that I barely noticed. It's not that I don't have anything on my mind, or that I'm not feeling inspired - I think it's more that I've been channeling my energy into this pregnancy (just entering the third trimester this week) and my brain has little room for much else.

So, anyway - what else is new? So much has been happening, it's all a blur. Besides adding to our family, Mr. Kolby and I bought a townhouse outside of the city - we close next week and move soon after - and Mr. Kolby started a new job. He's still with the Red Cross, but now he's the Disaster Liasion for New York State. Whenever something terrible happens, he's got to be there, and I'm so proud of how dedicated he is to helping other people and keeping them as safe as he keeps our family. We can't wait to move and start a brand new chapter in our lives!

And can we discuss just how damn expensive it is to have a baby? I mean, having the baby doesn't really cost anything - but all the crap you need once it's time to bring him home? Holy shit - no wonder people put this off as long as they do. We started a couple of baby registries, and we've got well over a hundred items on them - and we're putting off on picking out some things until we move. And the stores know you need this garbage, so they charge two arms and a leg for it all. And they can, because we all buy it. All I know is this: we're going to be kissing some serious familial ass for the next three months. Anything for a fucking stroller/carseat combo.

And Baby Makes Three (or Five if You Count the Dogs)

Well, it looks like I'll be able to check off at least one accomplishment on my list of things to do in my 30th year! Mr. Kolby and I have been harboring a bit of a secret for the past three months, and it's such a relief to finally be able to say: I'm pregnant. 12 weeks pregnant, to be exact. We found out about two weeks after my birthday, and it's been a roller coaster ever since. You know, no one ever tells you just how frightening and nervewracking the first few weeks of pregnancy can be. I mean, you spend months and months trying to get pregnant, all the while thinking that once you see those little pink lines on the pregnancy test, everything will be sunshine and happiness. Not true. The first twelve weeks are damn scary - so much can go wrong, and while it's relatively rare for anything bad to actually happen, the thought is always in the back of your mind. So, now that we've cleared the first trimester hurdle, we're feeling more relaxed and excited about the next six months.

There is so much more to say, and I'll be updating the blog regularly, but right now I'm exhausted and scatterbrained and I have to pee....

Nothing to See Here...

Well, it's been a while, and I still don't have much to post because my mind has been completely preoccupied with what's going on in my little life lately. I'll be back next week with all the details, but until then, here's what I threw together for dinner tonight. It was so good and I ate entirely too much. Please share in my gluttony, won't you?

Kolby's No-Name Pasta

1 lb Farfalle Pasta
1 pint heavy cream
1 cup grated parmagiano
1 15 ounce can of diced tomatoes, juice included
garlic powder, onion powder, salt & pepper to taste
chopped fresh parsley

While pasta is cooking (al dente please, none of that gummy, pasty shit allowed), heat cream in large skillet, adding spices and cheese after warmed. Stir grated cheese into cream until smooth. Add tomatoes and their juice. Heat through, stirring constantly. Stir in parsley and toss cooked pasta into sauce, stirring to coat evenly. Serve & enjoy!

*Try not to eat too much of this. Pasta tends to expand in the stomach, and I don't want to be responsible for any unnecessary trauma.

You Are What You Eat (And You Smell Like It Too)

Is it possible to O.D. on canned tuna? I'm asking because I have this co-worker who eats three to four cans of tuna, sometimes mixed with a bowl of white rice, over the course of one workday. Every day. He also ingests protein shakes and various vitamin supplements (dude, he, like, works out), but it's the massive amounts of tuna that make me want to vomit. He opens these cans and the odor is sent wafting out of our little office kitchen and over the walls of our cramped grey pens. Three to four times a day. How healthy can this possibly be for my co-worker, who will hereafter be referred to as Chickenlegs of the Sea? I swear, this guy must have gallons of mercury coursing through his veins.

In my mind, I'm convinced that his skeleton is coated in metal, kind of like Wolverine but without the strength, snark and sex appeal.

Two Recipes, Both Heart-Stranglingly Delicious

The possibility of a Pajiba Scrabble Sex Orgy in the near future has got me thinking - what kind of appetizers would naked nerds enjoy?

Here are two of my favorites:

Spicy Sausage Dip

1 package (tube?) Jimmy Dean Breakfast Sausage (I told you they'd be heart-strangling)
1 package cream cheese
1 can Ro-tel diced tomatoes with green chilies

Brown sausage in large skillet. Add cream cheese and melt, then add Ro-tel. Blend ingredients and heat through. Serve with tortilla or corn chips.


Sweet and Satisfying Spread

1 log of goat's cheese
1/2 cup craisins
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
1/4 -1/2 cup caramel sauce, warmed
1 baguette, sliced

Place cheese on large serving platter. Drizzle warmed caramel sauce over cheese, then sprinkle with nuts and craisins. Spread on baguette slices. Eat more than you planned because it's just that fucking scrumptious.

Fat Ass Vs. Lazy Ass

Do I go home and eat leftover homemade gnocchi & meatballs (thanks Mom & Grandma!), or do I order in from the deli up the street with my coworkers? Going home would give me the opportunity to walk the dogs and save money. But ordering in allows me to sit at my desk and Pajiba all day.

This is a tough one.

Just Me and My Conan

I can't sleep. At all. I don't even feel all that tired, so, let's recap the evening, shall we?

The hubs and I drove to the mall to assist the fabulous Ms. Kara in her quest to find the perfect outfit for a drag show she'll be attending this weekend. I learned two things while waiting for Kara to emerge from the dressing room: 1) drag queens must be quite picky about what the audience wears to their shows, and 2) Kara's legs are way too long. I'm actually not sure we can be friends anymore after seeing her in the mini-dress she ended up with.

After saying adieu to my friend, Mr. Kolby and I decided to head to Fuddrucker's for a burger (yes, I am aware that Fuddrucker's is not a Japanese steakhouse, which is where we were supposed to go - just bear with me). Fuddrucker's was insanely busy. On a Wednesday night. So, we climbed back into the car ( I should also mention that both Mr. Kolby and I become somewhat grumpy when deprived of food for any length of time) and drove to Friendly's. Friendly's was on a wait. On a Wednesday night. A wait. Yeah. So, we drove back to Fuddrucker's, because that's where my man reeeaaalllyy wanted to go. At this point, we were both ready to kill each other, and my excuse ("It's my birthday, you have to be nice to me!") was falling on deaf ears. Anyway, I walked up to the door and the line to the registers at Fuddrucker's was easily 75 feet long. I swear to you I was afraid to turn to my husband and tell him there was no way we'd be eating in under 40 minutes at Fudd's. He handled it pretty well, which is to say that he didn't shout obscenities at the toddler that was walking by at that moment. So, we got back into the car.

We ended up at Smokey Bones, a barbecue chain. It's actually not bad, especially since we're in Albany and decent barbecue is about as easy to come by as a New York politician with a conscience. Hee. Anyway, they were also on a wait, but I wasn't about to go anywhere else. So, we sat at the bar and had a damn good time. I got wasted from one margarita (yay for cheap dates!) and had a kick-ass burger. My man (we were back on speaking terms at this point - food always seems to help) had a couple of Guinnesses and some ribs. All was well in the world.


Except now I can't sleep. And Conan's gone!