Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Why am I slutty....

If I choose to wear an unlined bra? I mean, I understand that it's unseasonably chilly today, and also that I'm just so damn gorgeous that even women seemingly can't take their eyes off of me, and that yes, OK, MAYBE a silk sweater isn't the premiere garment to layer over said unlined bra - but who the hell cares if the outlines of my nipples are making an appearance at this very moment? I see older, heavier (i.e."fat") broads wearing lace or silk brazzieres under their outfits. Hell, most of the time I can SEE the bras themselves through the freakishly gigantic armholes of their sleeveless tops (don't even get me started on seeing these sleeveless tops in the dead of winter - 3 months of flabby, flapping skin is plenty, thankyouverymuch). So why do I, a married, 29-year-old woman, dressed tastefully, with all my "sexy" bits fully covered, receive constant oogling from the men and ocular death threats from the women in my office building? I'm wearing a turtleneck, for chrissakes! Yes, as I said before, it's silk, and YES, as previously mentioned, my nipples are "there", in all their glory, but come on people, everyone's got them! Are mine so unique that, regardless of the circumstances or level of deiscomfort involved, everyone's attention is immediately drawn to my chest, as if The Secret is contained within? Should I be forced to wear thickly lined, armor-like undergarments while the older, not-as-fun-to-look-at ladies of my floor get away with wearing bras that not even Frederick's would dare to carry? It's a double standard, I tell you.

And if I wasn't afraid to removed my forearms from their protective positioning over my breasts, I might be able to actually do something about it, like gesturing wildly or pounding my fist into my hand while standing on my desk and shouting that I'm not gonna take it anymore!

Oh, who am I kidding - this does look kind of slutty.

1 comment:

Dr. K said...

You're slutty because you can't help it, LOL. Your co-workers are probably just jealous.